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          5月11日雅思真题大作文 | 这个世界问题那么多,其实都怪ta?

          2019/05/1505:03关键词:  

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               忧国忧民的British Council,面对这个世界的各种问题,剑桥14里没问够,又到5月11日的考场上来问了。

            5月11日雅思大作文题目

            Most of the world’s problems are caused by overpopulation.

            To what extent do you agree or disagree?

            写作范文及解析

            审 题:What are the problems?

            1. depletion of resources

            2. massive production of rubbish / manufacturing to meet the need of consumption → polluted air and water

            3. short supply of land → unfriendly housing price and congested roads

            4. way too many contestants / replacements → stressful workplace...(一定还有许多)

            我们立刻发现“同意”明显好写。

            The world suffers [动词带有“评价”色彩,这里选用“负评价”动词] from many problems. Most of them are attributed to the excessive size of population [主题词汇overpopulation的替换].

            当然可以写成陈述形式的句子,但是,措辞的“花样”在于:用虚拟语气写:To begin with, if therewere not a population of this current size, humans would not need to exploit the great deal of resources to meet the immense needs. Therefore, it is fair to attribute the depletion of resources to overpopulation. [注意行文脉络:如果写土地资源,就是新写一个问题,而如果写生产就是一种“顺延”:从资源到生产] Also because of theenormous size of population, manufacturing has to be intense, and while it produces usable products, it produces the undesirable by-products – sewage, gas, and landfill refuse. Thus, it is fair to trace the root of the problem of pollutionback to overpopulation. [土地问题和交通问题太直接,如果继续在这个段落里写,有可能就写成流水账。所以不在这个段落里写,而后移到下一个段落:主要写“社会性”问题]

            [注意段落直接的衔接] Not only does overpopulation cause [留意这里的倒装现象] the above immediate problems, it also has the following impact on our society. In many countries and areas, land can no longer accommodate the large populations, and, as a result, the housing price is unfriendly and stressful. Nor does the land have the space for the colossal volumes of traffic, and the consequence is that people are always in a bad mood as they are constantly stuck. The stress extends to the workplace. [“短句”法,控制信息的节奏] The large population means a large number of contestants for jobs. In thisoverpopulated society, finding a job is not easy, and keeping one is also difficult because employers can always find replacements among the large population. It follows that many of social problems also result from overpopulation.

            The world has many problems. In light of the above, I am certain that most of those problems are the result of overpopulation.


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